Saturday, June 18, 2005

My Lumpia Recipe


You buy roll wrappers at Fillipino food store.

Days later: Look at wrappers day after day taking up room in fridge. Think about buying other ingredients.

Weeks later: You wake up late at night and think to self:

Aw, screw it... I'll just go to a friggin' Phillipine restaurant and order the shit...

Months later: Throw away roll wrappers cuz they are getting moldy. Never end up going to that Phillipine restaurant in Arlington.

Years later: Wake up dreaming of lumpia. Learn Phillipine restaurant has gone out of business.

Decades later: Attend retirement luncheon where the you specifically asked for lumpia and you get perturbed when you discovers that no one has brought it. You hide your anger but goes home and takes take it out on your art. In a few years, you will be dead.

Centuries later: A painting of lumpia is uncovered in the basement of an apartment about to be demolished. It is appraised by an art collector as an unearthed masterpiece of tremendous value. It inspires a whole 20th century food painting movement.

Milleniums later: Untitled painting of lumpia is among art works ransacked by invading force from one of the colonies. Earth is destroyed. An art critic disses the painting and it is fed to the carbon eating lifeforms on the planet that it has been hauled to.


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